大学女生谈恋爱更爱AA制 College Girls Tend to Like AA System

After a seemingly endless 12-year journey, students finally reach their cherished destination and settle down as freshmen. After the struggles of middle and high school, college is a haven for freshers: A warm bed, new friends and, most important of all, freedom. Only one thing is missing: A romantic partner who can bring vitality and flavor to the college experience.

But this flavor can often be soured by that well-worn poisoner of relationships everywhere: Money. And money issues can damage such a fragile butterfly as campus love.

Male students, as a result of both societal conditioning and a sense of chivalry, often take it for granted that paying the bill is symbolic of both their value in a relationship and the embodiment of politeness. “I never let a girl pay the bill, or I feel embarrassed,” said Wei Xu, an 18-year-old freshman at Sichuan Agricultural University.”

According to an online survey on Sohu.com that quizzed 6,000 students, 8.8 percent of them (mostly male) get an extra “relationship budget” from parents. Every month, Wei’s father gives him another several hundred yuan so that he can sustain the status of generous boyfriend.

Whereas, according to female students, having a boyfriend that acts like an ATM machine is not always welcome. “Spending parents’ money is not something to be proud of,” said Pan Tongtong, 18, a freshman at Beijing Normal University. “I would view such a boy as an irresponsible type. Liu Na, 18, a freshman at Shenzhen University, echoed those sentiments by saying that she prefers going Dutch as a way to show each other respect. “The nature of a relationship is sharing not taking,” said Liu. “Plus, I don’t want to feel as though I am relying on my boyfriend financially.”

However, male students find it hard to accept the dawning reality of financial co-existence. Wei Xu believes that it would hurt his pride to ask a girl to share the cost. “I just don’t know how to open my mouth to raise the subject,” Wei said. Girls, however, prefer setting ground rules regarding such matters so as to rule out any possible misunderstandings. “It’s better to get things straight before dating, so that neither part feels undue pressure on the matter of money, which could be a sensitive subject in a relationship,” said Qin Xiaolan, a 19-year-old freshman at Wuhan University. Some, however, balance things differently. Ma Shunyang, 20, a sophomore student at Guangdong Foreign Studies University, always gives some money to her boyfriend before going out for a dinner or a movie. “It is understandable for my boyfriend to be the one in charge in front of others,” said Ma. Ma also thinks that having expensive dinners or going to expensive moviesdoesn'tguarantee a happy relationship. “The key is how much thought is put into the relationship, not how much money,” said Ma.

12年的求学之途看似漫漫无期，但学生们最终到达了一直期盼的目的地，迈入了大学校门。相对于初中和高中的艰苦奋斗，大学就是避风港：温暖的床铺，新的朋友，最重要的，就是自由。而对大学生来说，唯独缺少的一样东西，就是一位能够为大学生活增添活力与回味的情感伴侣。

不过，在一个东西面前，这种味道就变质了，虽然这个东西平凡得不能再平凡，却是所有感情的毒药，那就是：钱。钱能破坏如蝴蝶般脆弱的校园爱情。

出于社会习惯以及绅士风度的考虑，男孩往往认为付账是天经地义的，因为这既是他们价值的象征，又是礼貌的体现。“我从来不让女孩买单，这会使我感到尴尬。”18岁的四川农业大学大一新生魏叙（音译）是这样认为的。

搜狐网针对6000名学生做了一项网上调查，其中有8.8%的人（大部分是男生）从父母那里获得了额外的“恋爱预算”。每月，魏叙（音译）都从父亲那额外获得几百块，维系他作为一个慷慨男友的形象。

但是，在女生看来，一个像自动取款机一样的男友并不总那么受欢迎。“花父母的钱不值得骄傲，在我看来是没有责任心的表现。”北京师范大学大一新生潘彤彤（音译）如是说。深圳大学18岁的新生刘娜（音译）也持有同样的观点，她更倾向于AA制，这样可以表示对互相的尊敬。“爱情的本质是分享不是索取，另外我不想让人觉得我是在被男朋友养着。”

然而，逐渐兴起的经济独立并不容易被男生接受。魏叙认为请求女孩分担花销是伤自尊的事。他说：“我都不知道该如何开口提出这个要求。“而女孩更喜欢先定好基本原则，以防出现可能的误解。“在约会前最好先把事说清楚，这样双方都不会在钱的问题上感到过分的压力，这在双方相处中是个敏感问题。”武汉大学19岁的新生秦小兰（音译）说。当然有些人也有不同的处理方式。广东外语外贸大学20岁的二年级生马顺阳（音译）在吃饭或者看电影前总是先给他男朋友钱。她说：“我能理解我的男朋友在其他人面前愿意表现出占主导的姿态。”她还认为吃饭看电影花大价钱并不能保证幸福的爱情。她认为：“问题的关键在于投入了多少感情，而不是多少钱。”

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